


To Hold and Give Light

by midwinterspring



Series: Like Hands Joined Together [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ajan Kloss, Alternate Ending, Ben Solo Lives, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), No Pregnancy, Redeemed Ben Solo, Resistance Member Ben Solo, Safe to Read if You're Triggered by Pregnancy, Slight background Finnrose, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22592875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midwinterspring/pseuds/midwinterspring
Summary: Post-TROS fix-it.After Exegol, Rey takes an injured Ben back to the Resistance.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Like Hands Joined Together [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012794
Comments: 14
Kudos: 70
Collections: For one is both and both are one in love: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange





	To Hold and Give Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dearly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearly/gifts).



> Thank you so much to Hannidae for betaing this!
> 
> Now with a wonderful moodboard by @starcrossreylo!

“You were never made for cruelty and darkness; you were made to hold light, as a lamp burning holds and gives its light.” - _The Tombs of Atuan,_ Ursula K. LeGuin

_It was over._

Ben tried to hold the image of Rey's smile in his mind, but it was fading. Her touch was fading too. There was nothing left – he was falling endlessly into blue light.

“No.” He heard a voice behind him. Strong arms caught him.

It was his mother. He had sensed her on Kef Bir, and then as he pulled himself out of the pit Palpatine had thrown him into. Now she was a solid presence in the Force. He could sense the years of grief that she carried, that no one had seen her mourn.

He turned, standing now in this place that wasn't a place at all. There was something solid under his feet, like standing on a glass floor over an endless sea of galaxies. Around them was the deep void of space. Leia hugged him. “I'm so sorry,” she said. “I'm sorry I was afraid. I'm sorry we sent you away.” She hugged him tighter, crying.

Behind her, he saw Luke, looking both more apologetic and somehow happier than the last time he had seen him as a Force projection. “Told you I'd see you around, kid,” Luke said.

Another man stood on Leia's other side. His hair looked a bit like his own, but was golden. “Go back,” he said. “Heal what I could not. Do something new.” Even in the blue radiance, his eyes looked a bit haunted.

“Anakin?” Ben asked. Anakin nodded.

There were others behind the trio, so many. Their presence was so unlike the voices he used to know, the ones that had really been Palpatine.

“You need to go back,” said Leia. _We will help_ , breathed the chorus of voices.

Ben nodded.

He was aware of his bond with Rey again. It hadn't disappeared, he realized. Somehow, she was _tugging_ on it, calling him back, pulling him back to his body. An immensity of light and energy poured through him. He could hear her screaming and crying. He could feel her still holding his hand.

He opened his eyes, his physical eyes, lying on the cold stone. “Rey,” he whispered, struggling to sit up. Her eyes were full of wonder, and she reached for him and hugged him tightly, still crying. They kissed then. After a moment, she pulled back, and he realized that she was afraid he would collapse again.

“I'm here. I'm still here.” She looked at him like he was something precious. “Ben,” she said, and kissed him again hungrily.

There was a rumbling from something in the distance. “We should go,” she said. “Somewhere where you can get medical care. I saw...” She didn't finish the sentence. He knew that she was remembering him being flung into the pit.

He sat up straighter and tried to put his weight on his legs. They felt like they would hold him up...for how long, he didn't know. “Yes, we should. Where though?”

“We could go back to the Resistance,” she said.

“Are you sure that's a good idea? That they'll be happy to see me? Do you really want to bring me into a Resistance base?”

“I won't let them hurt you,” Rey said fiercely. “And, I trust you.” She met his eyes. “I love you,” she breathed, and he could feel how true her words were, thrumming along the bond.

“I love you too, Rey,” he said. Her smile at that was so brilliant that it melted some of the shadows left in him. He had come back to Exegol and come running headlong into this terrible place because he couldn't stand the thought of her being alone again. He had brought her back to life, not caring about the consequences, because he wanted her to have a chance at happiness and belonging in the future. Being able to share that with her was more than he could have asked for, more than he felt he deserved. Yet here they were, and she loved him and wanted him around.

The bond was far enough open that she sensed his thoughts. “Of course I want you around,” she said. She helped him up then, and they slowly walked out of the room leaving the shattered throne behind.

*

Ben looked out the window of the X-Wing as they went through the nebulae and unstable regions outside of Exegol. He and Rey just barely both fit. She perched on his lap, carefully sitting on his left leg to avoid putting pressure on the injured right one. He was so glad to be with her, he wasn't sure he would have noticed. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head. Rey dialed up the life support to enough for two people, programmed in their course, and away they went.

He finally exhaled when they hit hyperspace. He had been running on adrenaline and the Force since Kef Bir. Rey had died. _He_ had died. Yet, here they were, on their way back to the Resistance. He wouldn't think about that part yet.

He breathed. For the first time in a long time, maybe his whole life, it was silent in his mind. The only thing he sensed was his bond with Rey, still there, still shining.

He was free. Finally. All of the grief and guilt and loneliness came crashing in then, everything he had tried to bury in the Dark Side. Tears ran freely down his cheeks for the first time in a long, long time.

Rey twisted around and held him tightly, reaching up to stroke his hair and his back. “It's okay. It's okay, beloved,” she whispered. “You're safe. You're safe now.”

“My whole life,” he said finally, after his tears had mostly stopped, “Palpatine was in my head. As long as I can remember, and before then, I think. Luke and Leia sensed the Dark Side in me, and were afraid, and he used that. Or, more likely, he wanted me to think they were afraid of me. I thought that dark presence was Snoke, and sometimes Vader...it was Palpatine. The whole time. I didn't burn the Jedi temple. There was lightning, and fire...It wasn't me. I didn't want it to happen. I went to Snoke, then. I believed him that no one would trust me again, no one would take me in again, no one but him...”

Ben could sense her listening and her sorrow on his behalf. “When Snoke wasn't insulting or threatening me...he would talk about destiny. He would say that I was the descendant of Vader, and that I would be more powerful than him.” Ben got quiet again. “Palpatine made Snoke. He had a vat of Snoke clones. When I first went to Exegol I learned that Palpatine was every voice I ever heard inside my head.”

“Every voice except yours, Rey. Whenever the bond connected us, everything else went quiet. I don't believe Snoke made the bond, no matter what he said. He lied so much, I know now.”

“I think you're right,” Rey murmured. “Snoke didn't make the bond, and Palpatine couldn't destroy it.” She rested her head against his chest, sending him love and reassurance through the bond. He sighed and kissed the top of her head. Stars streaked by outside as they outran light itself on their way back to the Resistance base.

*

As she approached the base on Ajan Kloss, Rey had an instinct to land off to the east of the other ships. They settled down softly, and Rey opened the cockpit and took a deep breath of the humid air.

She turned to look at Ben. He looked tremendously tired and there was blood on his face. He was _alive_ , though. They were both alive. That was enough.

When they had kissed after he healed her, she had thought that it was just the beginning for them. The Light she had seen in him was real and true and they would be together the way she had wanted since her vision on Ach-to. When he finally smiled, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Having that hope torn away was worse than her loneliness in the cave. She'd gone from utter joy to utter grief, and then back again almost as quickly. She felt completely overwhelmed, and completely grateful, and determined not to lose him again.

She wanted to linger and savor the time while it was just the two of them, but he needed medical care. “Are you ready for this?” she asked.

He shrugged and said, “Sure,” in a slightly sarcastic tone. At that moment, he reminded her so much of Han.

“I won't let them hurt you,” she said again, and checked that both lightsabers were safely attached to her belt.

They had both carefully gotten out of the X-Wing and were slowly making their way down the path when Rey sensed someone nearby. Another woman came around the bend in a small skimmer.

“Rose!” said Rey. This must have been why she the Force guided her to land over here.

She remembered talking to Finn on the Millennium Falcon, on their flight away from Crait. She and Finn had talked for a long time as they took care of Rose and waited for her to recover. Finn was clearly smitten with Rose and constantly brought her up in conversation. “And then she said to me, 'That's how we're gonna win, not fighting what we hate, but saving what we love.' And she kissed me!”

 _Saving what we love_. Rose would understand, Rey knew.

Rose stopped her skimmer in front of them and climbed out. “Rey! You're back! You're safe! And-is that-?”

Rey tried to remember what she had learned about etiquette among the Resistance. “Rose, this is Ben Solo. Ben, this is Rose Tico, Commander, Resistance Engineering.”

“Good to met you, Commander Tico,” Ben said.

“Oh, uh, just Rose is fine,” she said. “You're...with us...” She looked at them again and seemed to notice them holding hands.

“Yes,” said Rey. “I want to tell you the story, but we could use a medbay right now.”

“Oh, of course,” said Rose. “Here, get in.” She moved a large toolbox aside. “I was just going to check some of the returning ships, but maintenance can wait.”

As they walked into the base, the first person they saw was Maz Kanata. She grinned at Ben and did not seem the least surprised. “Leia found you,” she said.

“Yes,” said Ben, and Rey could sense almost overwhelming grief through the bond.

“We need the quickest and most discrete way to a medbay,” said Rose. “Ah, follow me,” said Maz. She led them down side corridors to a brightly lit space with two exam beds, empty except for medical droids. Maz grinned at Ben again and left.

“His right leg is injured,” Rey said to the med droid. “There may be more injuries, too.”

“I will take a look,” said the droid, and gestured for Ben to lie down on the nearest exam bed. The droid attached sensors and started scanning his body for damage. Rey sat in a chair beside him and didn't let go of his hand. She felt his exhaustion through the bond and wasn't surprised when he fell asleep as the droid continued to scan him.

“You should get checked out too,” said Rose. “I can stay here with both of you. Plus, I called some friends,” There was a familiar beeping, and Rey saw BB-8 and D-O roll into the room. “They can keep watch too.” Rey knew that BB-8 could take care of himself in a fight, and she had to grin at D-O tagging along.  
“Sure,” said Rey, and laid down on the other exam bed. There was a curtain between the beds, but she opened it so she could still see Ben. She kept her eyes on him as the second med droid fitted her with sensors.

*

When Ben woke up, Rey wasn't sitting beside him. The other woman, Rose, was, looking at him with steady eyes.

He sat up. “Where-”

She nodded toward the other bed in the medbay. “There. She's okay, just sleeping. She's still being monitored for now.” He reached for her through the bond. She was indeed okay and seemed to be sleeping deeply. She needed it, as much as he had.

He looked back at Rose. His whole life, especially in the First Order, he'd had to observe people closely. It was a survival skill. The Force made it easier, but he'd honed his observation skills with his physical senses as well. He didn't reach out with the Force. He wasn't going to be touching anyone's mind without their permission. But it was very clear, from simple observation, that Rose was not in the least bit afraid of him.

That was so rare. He tried to think of something to say. She was looking at him like he was a fellow human being, so the least he could do was act like it. Very few topics seemed safe.

He looked at the droids instead. The round droid looked vaguely familiar, but not the little one with the cone shaped head. “Hello there,” he said. “What are your names?”

“I'm D-O,” the small droid said.

“Hi, D-O. I'm Ben.”

The droid rolled forward and back, and then rolled closer. “I think he likes you,” said Rose. “He's usually very shy.”

BB-8 beeped quietly and rolled closer too. “This guy says his name is BB-8. And yes, it's official, two out of two rolling droids in this room think you're okay,” Rose said. Ben was about to ask about the medical droids, when he heard someone yelling in the hall.” “Rose? Rose? Are you there?”

“In here, Finn,” Rose said quietly.

“Oh, there-” said Finn, coming through the door, and froze when he saw Ben.

Ben froze too, then consciously tried to relax.

“What is he-? Are you-?” he asked, looking at Rose.

“Finn, I'm okay,” said Rose, very quietly and firmly. “We're okay.”

Finn looked away from Rose, and back to Ben. Ben didn't want to pry, but he could sense ripples in the Force around him. He was Force-sensitive, apparently. He probably should have noticed back on Starkiller, but then again all his attention had been taken up with Rey. _I should have noticed that too..._ Ben continued to broadcast _I am standing down_ in his body language and silence and the Force for that matter, on the off chance that Finn would hear.

Finn didn't take his eyes away from Ben. “Why didn't you kill me on Jakku?”

He was going to have to get used to these kinds of greetings, and probably far worse. All justified. “I wasn't sure at the time,” he said honestly. “But maybe because someone deserved to get out.”

Finn nodded, like he was considering it.

“Look, I can help,” Ben said. “I'll tell you what I know about the First Order, and what they may be doing now, and how to find out more.”

“And we can trust you why?”

“I'm telling the truth. I abandoned all that. I know you may not believe me, but...”

“He saved my life,” Rey said, sitting up next to them. She had been awake for the past few minutes. Ben could sense her impatience with the sensors still attached to her, or with the conversation, or both.

“Leia used the last of her strength to reach out to him,” said Maz, suddenly standing next to Finn. Ben had good hearing, and he hadn't heard her walk up. “She believed he would come back. Don't you owe it to her to give him a chance, since it seems she was right?” She walked away, without waiting for an answer.

Ben realized the medical droid was standing next to the bed and trying to get his attention. “What is it?” he asked the droid. “How am I doing?”

“You fractured your leg, but it is healing exactly as it should now. Quite remarkable.” The droid's polished artificial voice almost sounded surprised. “I have injected it with nanomaterials to speed the healing. You will need to wear a brace for twelve hours, and then it should be fine.”

“And Rey?” he asked, looked at the other droid.

“Apparently dehydrated, but otherwise fine,” she said. He could hear her meddroid say, “No, no, no, I'll remove those,” and then she was standing next to him.

“We need Ben's information,” said Rose.

“All right,” said Finn. “I know some others who will want to hear this. Briefing room in 15 minutes?”

“Sure,” said Rey. “Finn, not a trial. Not an interrogation. Promise me that.”

“I promise.”

*

Ben kept catching frightened looks as he, Rey, Rose, and the droids walked through the base. He wondered how people recognized him – then again, he was a bit conspicuous in his somewhat ragged black clothing.

Rey squeezed his hand. He knew she had sensed his mood. _Give them time._ _Give yourself time._

He smiled at her a little. It still felt a little odd – he had not used those muscles in years.

The briefing room had rows of chairs and tables, facing a row of tables in the front. Finn sat at the table, next to someone who looked familiar.

 _Kriff._ It was the Resistance pilot who he tortured, when he was looking for the map. Before he found Rey. It was a lifetime ago.

It was a year ago.

Another woman sat next to Finn and the pilot. “That's Commander Larma D'acy, Resistance Ground Forces. Poe Dameron and Finn are our co-Generals,” said Rey.

Poe was frowning at him. Ben understood why. He remembered Poe's pain and fear during the mind probe vividly, and Snoke telling him afterwards that he shouldn't care.

It was going to keep being like this, and it _should_ be. He would be atoning for the rest of his life.

Rose looked at the front table, and over at him and Rey. “I'll stay sitting here,” she said. “So it doesn't feel like a trial. I do really want to hear whatever you know about First Order tech.”

“I'll tell you what I remember. Gladly.”

*

Rey heard more people come into the room and sit behind them, but she concentrated on Ben and the Resistance leadership. His voice was quiet and formal as he started. “My name is Ben Solo. Until recently, I was Supreme Leader of the First Order, and I was known as Kylo Ren.” Someone sat at the end of their table, taking notes, and R2D2 stood nearby, recording.

“Most of the First Order leadership died at Exegol, or before. There will be a power vacuum and disarray as those who remain fight for power. The Resistance should be able to take advantage of the chaos.”

“Back up,” said Poe. “You said 'until recently'. What happened?”

The story came out, up until Ben had come to her on Exegol.

“Wait, she – gave you a lightsaber? How?”

Then it was Rey's turn. She had told Leia about her Force bond with Ben, but no one else. They knew Snoke was dead, but not how it happened. She told the whole story, feeling oddly exposed.

They came to the end of the narrative – Palpatine's destruction, Rey's death, Ben healing her, Ben's death, and the Jedi bringing him back. Everyone was silent for a moment.

“So, the First Order resources, as they are now...” Names of ships and troop numbers and weapons poured out from Ben. Rey sipped on water as they sat. “You should eat, Mistress Rey,” C3PO said at one point, and brought food for her and Ben. She had no idea what time it was at the base.

Rose asked about hyperdrives and weapons. “The Final Order fleet had axial superlasers. Planet destroyers. The First Order was experimenting with hyperspace tracking, as you found out. I don't believe Palpatine's survival was purely technological, but, well, methods to prolong life have had a certain appeal.”

She heard him take a breath and felt his shame and trepidation. “There is a larger concern, though. The First Order was kidnapping children and taking them to stormtrooper induction camps. There, they are conditioned – brainwashed - from an early age. It is clearly possible for them to break free from this conditioning, and it is more common than anyone in the First Order would have told you. If it is detected, it is punished severely. But the Galaxy is a big place. Many planets are very harsh. Garrisons just – disappear. It used to make Hux _so_ furious.”

“There've been other mutinies, then,” said Finn.

“Certainly. Five that I know of in the past year, one or two others that Hux complained about at some point. And the First Order had an unending need for stormtroopers. There will still be children in the camps, of various ages. Some training happened on Star Destroyers, as well.”

“They could have a chance at another life,” said Rose. “Where are these camps?”

“I'll show you,” said Ben. There was an old galactic display in the corner of the briefing room. He put in the coordinates. “There – 4 planets in the Outer Rim.”

“The Outer Rim, did you say?” Lando walked up to the display with a grin. Rey hadn't realized he was in the room. “I heard some of our new allies are already heading that way, to help with the uprising against the First Order. I think there will be more of those, as the news spreads.” He said a bit more quietly, but still audibly, “I knew you'd be back, little starfighter.” As the rest of the room watched, he gave Ben a big hug. When he let go, Rey could see that Ben had tears in his eyes.

“I can check out the intel,” said Jannah, also behind them. “I know what it's like to be a stormtrooper trainee.”

“You shouldn't have to carry this on your own,” said Kaydel. Rey turned around. It looked like half the Resistance had come in while she and Ben had been telling their story. “We can help. If, of course, the Generals are ok with this?” _Which they should be,_ her tone strongly implied.

“Well, we should...support the overthrow of the First Order, certainly,” said Poe, who was still looking at Ben dubiously.

“If we can free stormtroopers and trainees, we should,” said Finn.

“And we trust this guy?” Poe asked, nodding at Ben.

“Everyone deserves second chances,” said Lando.

“Be careful. Check the intel. But yeah...” Finn glanced at Rey, who raised her eyebrows and nodded. “Lando's right. I think we should take a chance on this guy.”

*

The impromptu meeting ended with Lando, Finn, Kaydel, and Jannah planning the mission to the Outer Rim. Rose must have noticed how tired Rey and Ben looked, because she said, “Here, we can find you some quarters.” She led them out another back way from the briefing room and to a hallway near Rey's quarters. “These rooms are empty – you can pick one out. Or-” she glanced at Rey and looked a bit sheepish. “If you want. Anyway. Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, Rose,” said Rey. “And – thank you.”

“You're welcome,” said Rose.

They were alone in the hallway. “My room's over here,” said Rey, walking over to the door and opening it. “I – would really like to not be by myself tonight.”

“Yeah, me either,” said Ben.

They stepped inside. “My bed isn't that big, but I think it's big enough for both of us. To sleep in, I mean,” said Rey. “For now.”

Ben smiled a bit awkwardly. “That's...what I figured. I'm exhausted, and I should probably let my leg finish healing.” He flopped down on the bed in his clothes- sweater, pants, brace, and all. She removed her arm wraps and her outer layer of clothing, turned off the light, and lay down next to him.

“I'm so glad you're actually here,” she whispered. The bond had been present, but quiet throughout the meeting. Now it opened more fully as she nestled up against his back and put her arms around him.

“Me too, my love,” he said, his voice purring inside her head and against her chest.

*

When she woke up, Ben was spooning against her back, and his hand was resting on her belly. It felt good, but it also reminded her of Exegol, and she shuddered and rolled over to reassure herself that he was still alive.

He was alive, and awake, and grinned at her. It was amazing to see him smile.

She cuddled closer to him. He was mostly wrapped up in the light sheet they had sleep under. “Hey, you stole the sheet!”

“Quirk of planetary gravity?”

“This is a moon!” She laughed, and he laughed too, like he wasn't used to laughing. He wasn't, she realized.

“Well, sorry. Let me compensate for the strangeness of lunar gravity.” He wrapped the sheet around her, pulling her close.

She exhaled. _I keep having to tell myself you're really here,_ she said through the bond.

_I know the feeling._

_Here. In person. In the same room. On the same side._ She realized she wasn't speaking out loud because she didn't want to jinx it.

He did speak out loud, and she could sense his sincerity through the bond. “I'm not going anywhere, not unless you want me to.”

“Same,” she said. She rested her forehead against his. _I missed you, after Crait. I didn't want to at first, but I missed you anyway._

_I missed you too. Sometimes I thought you were reaching out again, but I never saw you._

_I sensed you sometimes, but I never saw you either._

He touched her cheek, very gently. She smiled and was about to kiss him, but her stomach growled loudly. “We should get breakfast,” he said.

She sat up and looked at the chronometer. “Looks like it's after lunch, but sure. How's your leg?”

He sat up and carefully removed the brace. “Feels good so far.” He stood up slowly and put weight on it. “Yeah. I'm okay.”

_*_

They managed to get some leftovers from the cafeteria and had just finished eating when Rose found them. “Hey – come here! Lando's just reporting about the Outer Rim mission,” said Rose. They walked toward the edge of the base's command center. No one seemed to notice them – they were looking at a hologram of Lando.

“The intel checked out. There is a camp. There are a lot of children here,” said Lando. He sounded uncharacteristically grim for a moment. “There was a Star Destroyer too. The inhabitants of the system have risen up against the First Order, with help from our allies. There's been a stormtrooper rebellion. They all know Finn's story – and that he fought the former Supreme Leader with a lightsaber and survived.” Ben and Rey were at the edge of a group of people, but he looked right at Ben.

“I have no idea at all how they found out about that,” said Ben, deadpan.

 _You were undermining your own army?_ Rey asked.

 _Well, yes. Hux was so kriffin' smug about stormtrooper conditioning, just like about everything else. I told myself I just wanted to undermine him, that it didn't mean my sympathies had changed._ The side of his mouth quirked up a little. Rey laughed.

“Lieutenant Connix and I, and our new and old allies will be continuing on to check out the next site. Jannah is heading back with people who want to join the Resistance. Expect guests in the next few days. Expect lots of guests.” The transmission ended.

*

Rey found him clothes and a razor and the other supplies he could think of. By the time they were done going through the Resistance storerooms and they were back in her (their?) room, he was on edge. When he was in the halls of the base, he kept expecting the Resistance members to attack him, even though they never did.

“You okay?” asked Rey

“Sure. This is...just a lot to get used to. I feel like I'm still pulling part of myself back from Exegol.”

“You're here,” she said fiercely. She took both his hands and met his eyes. “You're _here_.” The bond was like a live wire between them. Their breathing fell back in sync, and he felt a little bit better.

“I used to meditate every day...before. Now I'm thinking it might be helpful to get back into it. Reattune myself.”

“I should meditate every day,” said Rey. “Not a habit I've gotten to stick yet.”

“Well, we could always start.”

“Yes, we could.”

They grabbed pillows from the bed and sat cross-legged on them, next to each other. He settled into himself, then slowly expanded his awareness to everything in his surroundings, and the Force that connected it. He could sense Rey settling in next to him. He observed her presence with affection, then expanded outward again.

It wasn't easy, opening to the Light again. The Dark Side of the Force was fueled by rage and fear and pain, but over time it numbed. To revel in it was to never acknowledge consequences.

The Light was quiet, and healing, and revealed everything. It came in through every crack. It was like feeling coming back into a limb after the circulation had been cut off.

It hurt terribly. He stayed with it, observing the pain. Observing a hundred bad choices, and another hundred. He breathed, and reached out, and listened. He knew Rey was there, willing to help, but she could not do this for him.

After a time, the pain fell away. Not forever, he knew, but for now. He felt warmth, a spark that even he had been unable to extinguish.

He reached out again. There was so much, so infinitely much here. Joy and grief and love and loss from the Resistance members, as they celebrated with those who came back and remembered those who hadn't. The jungle around them was full of life, every leaf resonating as it took in light and grew. And below, the soil where the growth of previous years decayed and transformed, feeding new life. Then further out, to the other planets of the system, and further out, across lightyears and systems and those who traveled the space in between. It was an immense, beautiful web, and he was a tiny part of it.

He came back slowly, letting go of the whole and retracing his way to the system and Ajan Kloss and the jungle and the base and this room and his body. He came back to stillness and the spark within, and could sense Rey next to him. He half-opened his eyes, still holding his Force awareness, and his breath caught in his throat.

She was so beautiful like this. She was always so beautiful. Light poured through her in his Force vision. She was radiant and strong, with a fierce spark burning at her core.

He hadn't wanted to disturb her meditation, but their bond suddenly flared open like it had a mind of its own. She must have been thinking of him, too. He felt her awareness coming back to the room and to her body, felt her turn and look at him with that same layered vision. And he saw through her eyes how radiant he was, how little by little the remaining bits of darkness in him unknotted themselves and became part of the light again. He knew she saw his vision of her, too. They reached for each other in the same moment, and there were tears in both of their eyes.

*

They made it to breakfast the next morning, and Rose came to sit by them. Rey could see that Ben seemed a bit more relaxed around other people today. He patted BB-8 when he came rolling up to them, and waved at D-0 who hung back a little.

“Mind if I sit by you all?” asked Maz, holding a steaming mug of caf.

“Not at all,” said Rose, and “No problem,” said Rey and Ben, accidentally in unison.

Maz sat next to Rose, peering at Rey and Ben across the table. “Hmm,” she said. “Well, I'm getting ready to leave Ajan Kloss, but I wanted to make sure to say goodbye to all of you.”

“Where are you going?” asked Rey.

“Back to Takodana. I miss my castle, and it's time to rebuild it”

“I'm very sorry about that,” said Ben.

“I know,” said Maz. “You should come visit sometime. I'll put you to work, though.”

“I can deal with that,” said Ben.

“There are other places you might want to go first though.” Maz looked like she was listening, and Rey felt the Force swirl around her, like a light breeze.

“Rose,” Maz said. “If you decide to go back to Canto Bight, take these two with you.”

“I was...starting to plan a mission, yes,” said Rose.

“Good. That will be good.” Maz drained her caf and stood up again. “Well. I need to be going now. I tried to convince my boyfriend to come with me, but he said he wanted to stay with the Resistance.”

“Your...boyfriend?”

“He's on the Falcon,” said Maz. “Go see.” She walked away without saying anything else.

Rose shrugged. “I was heading towards the fleet anyway. I need to see what condition it's in so I can organize our repair and maintenance efforts.”

They took Rose's little skimmer full of toolboxes out to the Falcon. “Here you are,” she said. “And if you want to do some maintenance while talking to this mysterious being, go for it!”

Rey laughed but brought her toolbelt. She could sense Ben's jumble of emotions as they walked onto his father's ship. He ran a hand lightly along the bulkheads as they walked and paused at the dejarik table.

Rey saw who Maz had meant as they approached the cockpit. Chewbacca was sitting in the pilot's seat, looking at the troubleshooting displays. He stood up quickly as he heard their footsteps.

Ben and Chewie both stopped, looking at each other. “I'm so, so sorry,” Ben said. “I don't even have words. I miss my dad every day.” Chewie roared. He walked closer to them, and roared again. Then he grabbed Ben in a tight hug.

Rey found herself tearing up. “Yes, Ben. We know. Welcome home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Part of my inspiration for this fic comes from The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. LeGuin. Some also came from conversations across fandom Twitter and the What the Force Podcast Discord server. Thanks, y'all!


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